Prisha needs a mentor

    After my move here, I came to know about mentoring at school. It is a volunteer, could be a parent or a student, who helps a child dealing with issues. The issues are varied, transition mentoring as the child is finding it tough moving into a new school and new country, many issues at school, social issues, mental issues which work against the child at school, etc.
     I was very fascinated as it gives the chance to the child to really integrate into the school and enjoy the learning experience. I volunteered and still wait for my turn to come. But I was very sure that it would benefit Prisha greatly. But the school didn't think so. So I have been slowly working my way up, volunteering at school such that I am noticed and people take me more seriously. It helped me boost my sometimes sagging confidence and also helped me understand the school better. Soon enough, made space by being closely with the class teacher, talk on deafness in class such that the class teacher understood what i mean. I was called by the child counselor to discuss issues with Prisha and I stressed her need o have a mentor. A mentor for her would be required for.....
1.Coming from different culture, a mentor would talk about issues which are different from ours.
2. What are the various activities they have at home, outside, vacations etc, could be talked to with Prisha as our activities vary.
3.The games the kids her age play,books they read, movies they watch, etc she could discuss with mentor, that would help her to understand the local kids better and it will help her to play their games and be more part of the group.
4.It would help her to get more exposure to accent different from ours, more exposure to English spoken differently.
5.Understand Prisha better and help me where I lack and need to add.
        The mentoring head was looking at a 10th grader but for me I think it made sense to have a mom who can handle her with more maturity. A mom would be able to understand her needs much better, where to push, where not to with Prisha. So I am excited as tomorrow I should hear from her about a possible mentor for her.We shall have a possible interaction and see how best we can fit a mentor and work as a team to help Prisha best. I would stand by to help the mom to give her best possible support.
         Other issues that we discussed were....
1. Prisha wasn't given hip-hop despite trying so hard. It would help her making friends from different groups and also boost her confidence and fun.
2. Individual education plan (IEP) was pulled out without our knowledge and it would have helped as they had specific goals ..long term n short term. So if possible, get that back.
3. Coordinate more with her class teacher, her teacher who comes to help 50 mins a day, learning support head, mentor, mentoring head and me so that we can set goals and help Prisha more effectively.
4.If possible know who is going to be her new teacher in the 3rd grade and fill her up on Prisha's needs so that there is no loss of time when we start the new year. By the time I start and they understand her needs , half the year has gone by. So the new teacher should have a meeting with us all so that she is more prepared and there is no lag and lack of understanding.
5. The school doesn't allow exchange of too much information about what is being taught in advance and there is no home work. As a result I know nothing as a mother what she is learning at school. Sometimes she doesn't understand what is being taught and then its like the gap that keeps becoming bigger as she hasn't understood the core. So if I am informed what is being taught at school, we could work on her from home and she goes with some base to build up her understanding on. The teacher could tell me where they had issues and I could work at home with her.It will bridge the gap and the teacher could have support and less frustrations of how to help her.

I think I was very happy with the meeting and its like new lease to us. I look forward to more support from school and more concrete structures of help for Prisha. The mentoring head was pleased to meet me and she realized how hard we have worked and are hands on parents. I am glad I volunteered so much and so it helps to get support, all worth it to help my little fighter !!

Listen and repeat......the need of the hour

Snoozing on the way to Berlin

            Two weeks of long Easter break just passed by so quickly. We had guests over and so a lot of Hindi movies , Indian food and lots of attention on Prisha. It was funny to see her chuckling and laughing at the slapstick movies and I wondered what made her laugh as she isn't familiar with the language. But yes she read stories , we had discussions and the 3 day trip to Berlin, about 6 hour drive from here.So we packed up and one thing I did was ask her to pack her own things this time and we made it a great language activity.
           We started with a count of the number of days we were away, so how many sets of clothes- what does one set consist of and one extra for emergency, shoes, night clothes, accessories, which suitcase, cosmetics, her hearing aid kit, hair dryer....name it and she was to do it. I must say we did a bit of Math, improve English, memory game, planning and above all my work was reduced. We had so much fun and she looked so proud at the end of it.
            One more thing we need to do with her is ask her to listen more with her mouth closed and then repeat after us. This is going to be helpful as she knows I would cross question her on it.Its really essential and in the long drive to Berlin with a bit of push , we saw  it made a huge difference in her speech. Also her HA is acting weird. She says it makes a weird sound, something like ....wao wao, and its not continuous. have to sort it out. We had got her puretone audiogram and its funny that her levels at high frequency show a deterioration of 10db and improvement in lower frequency by about 10 db. We are wondering and have not made any changes in her HA as the audiologist suggested. So hanging on.
           Berlin trip was also great and she did good with her walking, clicking pictures and looking at the building. we talked to her about the Parliament, the government and everything to do with it while we walked around the parliament building. Now we are back and its again school time ! She is happy and so are we.
              

Deafness and blindness

Hearing loss is a bigger loss than blindness. many would disagree. But it is a fact. When people go into coma, one is asked to keep talking to the patient, it is to keep him alive, grounded to life. The eyes may be closed, mind shut off but hearing is on and the brain is tuned to grab any sounds and specially voices.
To get a better picture of deafness over blindness, one exercise can be done, many would have done, it is from everyday life we all would have experienced in life. Mute the TV and keep looking at the movie or documentary or a song anything. What do you experience? After few minutes, you lose all interest in it after a while and maybe sleep off after a while. Now close your eyes and listen to any CD of your choice, what do you experience? Body starts to react to it, music or speech, your brain is full on into hearing and you are alive. So its the sounds and hearing that keeps us more alert and alive and focused and is very essential to lead life. One needs to develop language for living.

An old man's reaction to hearing "his" music.

Social integration still tough

Prisha's 3D presentation on healthy eating...impressive work!!

      Just last month after the talk about deafness in class I thought that Prisha would make more friends and she would be happier, and now last evening she went up to my husband and her 1st sentence snapped something inside. She said " dad, I want to tell you something about school. When I play during recess and lunch break, the friends don't listen to me as they think I am boring".
      She sobbed and sobbed and the brave soul that she is, she cried out her woes , we just listened. It breaks my heart many times to see her dealing with so much at such a tender age. She is fun, happy child , very spirited and always ready for any activity. I wish the kids could be more tolerant with her. She still misses a lot of conversation in the playground and so misses instructions and eventually the play. We have pepped her up for now to just hang on and she would soon have friends.
      But it is tough to deal with it and really hope she finds her circle soon. Class wise her teacher told me she was really good when she talked about energy in her unit of inquiry. She has been guided at home on it and she went happily talking about it. So that pumped her confidence a lot. Just hope friendship issues get solved soon.
      

Updates from school

         I have been waiting to see the reactions a few days after my talk at Prisha's class on deafness. These effects die down soon and was hoping that all the kids would still understand Prisha's issues. But I am happy to know that she has a few who still help her out and are playing with her. Makes me happy. The teachers are more cooperative and give her a lot of attention in a positive way. Some girls have now started to be with her in group games. The teachers also try to understand her needs better. She used to give a few answers in the class which were a bit out of context, few kids laughed at her then. The teacher now makes an attempt to let her give an answer where they know she has better understanding and expect a correct answer.It boosts her confidence and gets her more respect and acceptance in her class by her peers. The teacher is giving me a few more hints on what is being taught in class which helps us to work with her at home and in turn she is more comfortable in the class in her understanding of the subject being taught. We get a few books home too on the subject. So hoping all is going good this term. We are still waiting to see if she gets a mentor to work with her once a week. The mentoring head is away so waiting for her to come back and get a best fit for her.The counselor would also work with a group of girls to get Prisha more friends soon after the Easter break. So we just wait and watch. 

Alaka Hudlikar....perfect speech therapist

Here is a video of what Alaka ma'am has done to some of her students and their families.....bring happiness and joy in each home of the deaf. A video in Marathi epaper Sakal. I am proud to share it on my blog !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=DE&feature=youtu.be&v=ok0CcNrwafY

keep going ma'am, we are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Prisha has friends !!

    I am so delighted at how kids can be so warm and caring. I have got such good feedback from school and the teacher said that she found me very interactive and warm with the kids and it did bring a change in their own attitude as well as the kids too in class. So I offered that I could talk to other sections too about it as some moms have shown a lot of interest. And she said it would be a good idea as they all play together during lunch in the play area and also they would be shuffled in grade 3 too. She even said that Grade 4 has disabilities as part of their unit of inquiry right now and probably it would help if I could have a word on this with them. That excited me immensely. So looking forward to some good news from school.
         The kids who were a part of it yesterday went and spoke so much to the parents at home that I had a lot of moms coming and appreciating our journey and were very supportive. Now Prisha had a girl coming over, giving her a card which says they are going to be forever friends...lol. I was so happy and Prisha seems to be beaming with joy, now I really don't know how long this would last, but am happy that the little girl had those thoughts for Prisha. She now has a playdate this Friday at a  classmate's home and the next week another one has called her home. So things are looking up, just hope she is able to make use of this in a big way. I hope the change in attitudes of all around her at school would bring more learning experiences at school.I am happy I spoke out and took this step.

Spreading awareness on deafness in 8 year olds

Talking about deafness

Tried hearing through hearing aids

Fascination !! 

A power point presentation

            Today was a big day when I was going to talk about deafness to Prisha's class. Did not have too many expectations just that they sit through without getting bored. The session went really well and I had them listen to our story, know what it is to be deaf and also our daily struggles. When I asked if they had to loose a sense between hearing and seeing, they all said hearing. But at the end of it they knew how much struggle goes behind Prisha learning the language. The kids were keen to learn all that I had show, loved to hear through the hearing aids and they really thought that Prisha was very brave. We did earn more friends and a few who came in to ask if Prisha could come and play with them after school. We earned a bit more empathy from teachers and students who are all now looking forward to helping Prisha.
            I did tell them her daily struggle to manage new words and listening and socializing in a bigest way.I think this talk made them realize how lucky they are to have normal hearing and to be able to make friends easily. This also gave Prisha a big shot in the arm, as she sat their proudly listening to her mum talk. A few questions from kids too came a surprise and was happy to answer them. I am glad the school gave me this chance eventually to talk about this subject and hope the kids develop empathy for any child or person with disabilities in future. I feel elated too and gave me the confidence too. Few mothers asked if I was ready to talk about this to the other classes where the kids had no clue about deafness to spread awareness. I am more than willing , I said ! It would help me spread awareness about this subject which is so close to my heart.

Educating the 8 year olds

Today I am going to educate 8 year olds from Prisha's class about deafness, its effects and constant fight to be a part of the social structure. I am hoping to plant seeds of empathy into the little minds where in they learn to empathize with not only people with deafness but also other disabilities and become a bit more sensitive to the needs of such people. Taking hearing aids so that the kids can feel them, hear through them and would know what is life for the deaf. Keeping fingers crossed and hoping to make it exciting and fun enough to make them listen up. I am excited, a very young audience !

Update with the school counselor

      Prisha has issues making friends. I think it does happen with any child with any disability and special needs. The normal children cannot identify with the issues and are not aware of the depth of the problems. Being kids they are unaware and so cannot keep pace with the needs of special kids. And so when I see Prisha complaining that kids do not include her in their games, or she isn't able to hear the instructions in the play area as the kids mutter and run away, I do not blame them. Some kids are considerate and do try but then they need to play with others too. Sometimes some kid pulls them away too, the regular stuff happens too. Some days are good , some days as she has missed out some instructions, she misses out a good time with friends too. So after a long discussion, we eventually had the school counselor stepping in to see how best we could work out things for Prisha so that she has a good and decent social circle at school to make her more happy at school.
        The counselor said that she was happy to see Prisha's growth in the last year and she is more intelligible in her speech and she has started to hear better and learn a lot more. She did acknowledge our work that we have put in to help her understand the big change in her life after our move here.So next thing to work was her social interaction which is very important for her emotional development. After much discussion we concluded that Prisha would benefit greatly if she had a mentor who could spend time with her once a week and talk to her, talk new and varied topics and play some games which would be fun for her, that would include story telling too.I was very keen on this as it would be a good extension for her, learning new things in different context, accent to learn and also learn what other parents talk to their kids.The challenge is to get the best fit, we have to just see if it is a senior school student or a parent. Keeping fingers crossed on that.
       The next thing is that she would make agroup of about 5-6  students from her class. It would have a few kids who are nice to Prisha and the rest who have been nasty and unkind to her. She would then ask those kids to help her help Prisha make happy at school secretly. That way the kids would be kinder, learn her problems and the nasty kids would learn to be more friendly with her. The counselor would be in touch with Prisha to get updates about who was being kind and played with her at school. I think these plans look good. I even suggested if Prisha could be a part of the ESL group where she would be part of the English learning group. She would learn English and what she is confident of, would give her confidence. We shall review this in due course. I am now waiting to hear from the mentoring and counselling team eagerly. Let us see what they would eventually decide which would make Prisha even happier at school.